Managing Frustration

More often than we are willing to admit, frustrations can get the better of us. During these moments of displeasure, my inner voice’s favorite lines would be “I don’t deserve this. It shouldn’t have happened to me!” And most of us would usually balk off to our room in self-pity, and cry endlessly as if it’s the end of the world.

This is not what we can call frustration management. As what I’ve read in an article written by a successful businessman, we need to manage our frustration so that we could avoid being “DUMB”, an acronym for Disapproval, Uncooperation, Miscommunication, and Bad vibrations from and with our peers and the society. He further adds that it’s not what others do to us or the circumstances that we are in that should matter. What matters most is how we respond to these aspects of life.

So, now is the perfect time to manage frustration before it manages us. The big question is how?

The first major thing to do is to change our perspective upon things. It’s time that we see the challenges as they are—challenges. Yes, this has been repeated over and over again by quotes of the wisest, but taking the first step can be very difficult—even almost impossible. To make it more possible, keep a personal mantra to remind yourself constantly that you are changing the way you see things. This especially works for me. My first mantra was from a line from Stoicism philosophy, “Whatever is beyond the control of my will is nothing to me.” That sounded a little negative, so I changed it to “I cannot change what has already happened, but I can still prevent it from happening again.” It actually did give me the strength to persevere.

To really embed it in the mind, print out the words, or write it decoratively in a beautiful and catching piece of paper, and stick it somewhere that you would always be able to see it. I saw a friend of mine tack his signs in the ceiling of his room, on the doors and on his refrigerator, but that was a bit exaggerated. You can post yours in your room or above the mirror so that whenever you see yourself in the mirror you’d read your mantra.

And of course, if the frustration hits you again, always remind yourself that after it wears off, you still have a life to live. But don’t ignore the lessons that your failure and the whole situation wants to teach you. Everything you’ve been through would be wasted on nothing if you don’t recognize what happened wrong. Then take a fresh step forward, armed with the knowledge of your past mistake that you would never do it again.

The habit has been formed ever since we were young, so changing it would take a lot of focus and effort. But it would really be worth it. After everything, you must realize that you can only live once, so it’s no use wasting a huge part of it crying over one setback.